Two Women Veterans bond over fertility struggles

Two women Veterans recently bonded after sharing stories of their fertility struggles, and it wouldn't have happened without a little help from Atlanta VA.

"In my darkest days, Dr. Geisel pushed me," said Climmie Cooper-Lewis, a 42-year-old Air Force Veteran who lives in Dallas, Georgia. Cooper-Lewis struggles with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, a back injury and effects from digestive and reproductive surgeries. "I wanted to give up so many times. I have chronic pain but I have no choice but to keep living at this point. My husband is pushing me. My babies are relying on me. I have no choice but to trust everyone who is involved in my care, trust my therapist and trust the journey."

In 2020, after conceiving naturally and feeling like the pregnancy was going smoothly, Cooper-Lewis had an ultrasound that revealed her baby had no heartbeat. "God, why do you keep doing this to me?" Cooper-Lewis wondered. She prayed, leaning on the faith she's relied on since childhood.

In need of help, Cooper-Lewis drove to the Atlanta VA Women's Clinic for a telehealth phone consultation with a psychiatrist at the Joseph Maxwell Cleland Atlanta VA Medical Center in Decatur.

"It feels good to have someone understand you."

"Within a couple of hours, VA gave me options and tools to use," Cooper-Lewis said. She didn't know all the many services available to her. Dr. Debbie Geisel connected her to a nutritionist, a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Group, maternity care coordinators and a VA chaplain. "The women's health service has been providing me with top-tier care."

Geisel is the clinical director for primary care and mental health integration, and is the Atlanta VA women's mental health champion.

Cooper-Lewis has been a patient of Geisel for about five years. She has received individual and group therapy and telehealth visits. If she needs anything, Geisel is there to guide her in the right direction.

"Even after she became a clinical director, she still provided group therapy for these women. She still provided care for me. I met one lady, a sister from another mister. My dear friend, Heather. It feels good to have someone understand you," Cooper-Lewis said.

"Heather and Climmie were exhausted and losing hope after suffering multiple perinatal losses," said Geisel. "With each week, they shared more openly and found support from other women who were grieving in silence and isolation."

Heather Cramer and Cooper-Lewis bonded over their passion for the medical field and their tenacity to never give up on what they knew in their hearts was meant to be for them. Cramer served as a surgical technician in the Army and Cooper-Lewis served as an aerospace medical service technician.

Although hesitant, each agreed to participate in a virtual pregnancy loss support group that started during the pandemic.

"I went to the group and I felt older and out of place," said Cooper-Lewis. "Within my household, we are a blended family with older children, but we had lost so much at that point. We didn't want to give up on what we desired after all the surgeries, ectopic surgeries, pregnancy losses, joint replacements, twisted organs, removal of scar tissue, precancerous scares and fertility issues."

Cramer underwent her own trials after she survived the war in Afghanistan, coming back injured and then living through 36 surgeries and 19 pregnancy losses. But she wasn't willing to give up.

"I wish more women felt free enough to seek care at VA."

"After all that death and destruction, I wanted to again experience life at its most basic and have another child," Cramer said. She had two children before deployment. Why would it be a problem after coming home?

"Dr. Geisel saved me. She stated that being a woman in the military meant you could show no weakness and PTSD was a sign of weakness back then. Now, she says, the healing journey has changed for PTSD. It's messy, and when society wants to approach the issue with a pill or quick fix, it's not going to work. It needs a comprehensive approach."

"It's hard for our women Veterans to ask for help. There is so much stigma and so much pressure on them to be the 'strong ones,'" said Geisel. "Their willingness to share their grief brought them not only healing, but a lifelong friendship."

Cramer believes there are many reasons young women Veterans may not seek mental health care.

"I asked for help many years ago, when the trauma broke my brain. I was told that we as women have to be stronger than our male counterparts because we are expected to fail. I know personally the treatment has helped to heal a little more. I really wish more women felt free enough to seek care at VA, because there are resources and providers who care."

Cramer was able to finally have her third child 18 years later, with the help of a surrogate.

Through years of many pregnancy losses and fertility attempts, Cooper-Lewis was able to conceive and give birth to her twin rainbow babies (babies born after a miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of an infant from natural causes), pictured above.

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